I am at the point in my training that I am creating my own classes and teaching. (YAY!) I graduate in only a few weeks and then I will have the certification I worked a year to attain. I have three online classes on my schedule each week and it has been really fun figuring out how to shift each sequence to fit what I’m wishing to share that day. Two of the classes are under the same name, “Relax into Stillness”, a night class designed to relax you for sleep. It is a half hour where we are only doing sitting and supine poses, then we end with a meditation and maybe a mantra. My first live class I was shaking like a leaf inside but I got comfortable a few minutes in and ended the class strong. I feel like it is a good beginning class to teach for me right now.
My third class is in the morning, “Sunrise Salutation on the Lake” where I want to do 8 Surya Namaskars with the breath, 8 breaths between each sequence and do a longer meditation and mantra at the end. I’m still learning how long each posture will take and I want to slow myself down to hold the poses longer. I tend to speed up when I’m nervous.
The feeling of teaching online is strange. I feel like I’m speaking into the void if there aren’t participants live that I can see. I also have to consider who will be seeing it as a recording and teach to them as well. I think this is a great transitional period so I can get comfortable teaching, get used to working the technology, and also try and grow my student body virtually.
The rise of Covid-19 has really shifted everything in our daily lives. I hope that people find the benefit of practicing yoga with others while being in this quarantine. I know that for me, any sort of connection, no matter how small, makes a big difference for my well being.
These last couple of weeks my creativity is in overdrive. So many ideas are floating in my head about content to put out there that I sometimes find it hard to sleep. I might be fixating on this to placate my fears of an unknown future. Will society be forever changed by the pandemic? How will the Retreat Center survive if we lose our summer bookings? Will my wife, an ER nurse, be safe through this crisis? So many worries and questions that creation seems more appealing than staying in a constant panic.
I have really been holding to my gratitude practices and I know that it has served me well. Gratitude for what I now have keeps my mind out of that precarious future and back in the present where it belongs. So, I will continue to remind myself how lucky I am and start making my dreams and concepts emerge through my class flow and other videos. I feel that if I can make one person’s day a little brighter, than I will have done what I set out to do.
Find your calm. Find your connection. And always, remember to breathe!
As I am getting my packing and cleaning done to travel down south for our Thanksgiving week, I am filled with a wonderful feeling of gratitude for where my life has taken me. I would usually be a nervous wreck, juggling preparations to Airbnb our home out while we are gone with a dog and a toddler in tow, but I told myself that I should enjoy this day. I will finish my chores and get to my destination without gaining some more gray hairs if I have anything to do with it.
This time of year is so go-go-go, but since moving to the retreat center, away from the bustle of the suburban life I had before, I have felt a major shift in priorities. At first, I felt cut off from civilization, wondering where the closest movie theater was or where I was going to find some decent sushi in a small town like Oscoda. I was so used to UberEats and take-out and quick solutions to boredom and dinners. Everything I could ever need was a short car ride away. With the change in availability I had to reassess how to live.
My wife always knew when we had to get out of the house and do something. She told me ‘ You have ants in your pants, let’s go find something to do so you don’t go crazy.’ She was right. I never felt content to just sit and chill out. I always had to have a running list of things to do and buy and finish. My to do lists were long and never complete. This made me feel itchy, like I always was forgetting to do something.
Now I have this beautiful home which is such a source of calm, with Lake Huron as my meditation teacher. My wife is with me to face any hiccups along the way, and there have been plenty. My daughter is healthy and goofy, dancing every morning with her smile that melts me. I can be a stay-at-home mom while still pursuing my interests and dreams of creating a retreat center and yoga studio. Even though my family and friends are three hours away, technology brings them into my living room whenever I need them for support and company. Instant gratification is overrated, and planning my trips to civilization is that much more fun when I know I can’t get that amazing sushi on a normal basis.
I am so grateful for where I am today. I am loved by so many and I am beginning to love myself too. That has been the hardest journey of all, to see my worth and that I deserve the love that has been given to me. I deserve to be happy and you do too!
So from my seat here sipping coffee with the newly risen sun on my face, I am grateful for you. I hope you have a Thanksgiving full of happiness and that you can stay in the present moment. Take more deep breaths and put down your phone between pictures. Look deeply at your loved ones and overlook your differences. They are small and only lead to suffering. Enjoy the time and every conversation or action you take will create your future with them. Remember you are loved and worthy of your abundance!
I am fairly new to this motherhood club. Some days it still feels strange that I have a one year old running around. And she IS running now. Everything changed so quickly and it feels like time is going faster than it ever has in my life. That might be because my daughter’s changes seem to come fast and furious.
I was fortunate to get an entire perfect day with my wife and daughter yesterday at our lake house. It has been a while since we could carve out a day to go, but we forced our way up I-75 before the labor day holiday traffic and visited our safe haven. Every time I look out at ‘our lake’ and listen to the wind through the trees I can feel the weight of daily life slip away. I can breathe easy again. It’s amazing what a special spot on the earth can do for your psyche when you only associate it with happiness and peace.
We spend a good portion of our day at the beach and it was Deb’s first time in the water other than a baby pool. After the initial anxiety of doing something new, you could actually see her relax in the waves and her gaze became unfocused and distant. After our fun, we took a nap together and I woke before our daughter and watched her sleep. She looked so perfect, so unfiltered by the stresses that plague many of us. I stared at her in disbelief that my body could help create this little masterpiece. Her personality already shines bright and I cannot wait to see all the adventures we’ll share together as she grows.
Time is flowing. It only feels like it goes faster because we wish it would stop so we can appreciate this time with our daughter as a child. I try to feel gratitude every moment I share with her, even the meltdowns and crabby bits. Time is our most precious resource and the way we mothers spend it with our children will be what we create for their futures. It is a lot of responsibility, but it reminds me that I had that for myself all along. My outlook on life and reality will one day shape hers, and if that doesn’t shake me out of negative head space, nothing will.
To mothers: We forever shape the future. Try and make it a happy one!
Since starting my yoga teacher training, I have looked for a self care journal that was perfect for me. Not finding one just right, I decided to make one of my own and share the PDF with anyone interested. Please send it to people in your life that you think it might help! Love and Light!