It is my 32nd birthday today and I feel very grateful. Grateful for every breath in my lungs, for my close knit tribe of my chosen family, and for the experiences that have shaped my life thus far. It hasn’t always been easy, but sitting here now I see that it was all for a purpose.
I do not worry about getting older anymore. On my 30th birthday, I felt the dread most feel when you can no longer pretend you aren’t an adult. I still felt like a child in many ways, even though I grew up quickly in my 20s through necessity. I was flung into the adult world too fast and I didn’t even know myself yet. I created opportunity in the job I was given and made a good living from my hard work, only because I had no option to fail. It taught me that you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it and that nothing is just handed to you.
Growing up I wanted for nothing and that spoiled me a bit. I was shown that with a good brain, you could go to college and pursue a high paying job and give your kids the same opportunities. That plan never came to be, with me dropping out of college and deciding to live my most authentic life. A life of truth, honesty and love.
Now the huge responsibility of motherhood has found me, and I am so glad I waited till my 30s to start that journey. I would not have been ready at 23, since I didn’t know myself or what the world was at that time. I want my daughter to see her mom aging with grace and loving every wrinkle, gray hair and body ache (as much as possible). Having a positive attitude about everything is what I’m constantly working on, especially since it does not come naturally to me. Seeing the world as a place of wonder and magic is what I want to instill in my daughter. A high paying job is not what will make you happy, but finding the light in every dark corner and showing all that you come across the kindness you wish to get is what my legacy will be. Wish me luck, cuz it isn’t easy! Namaste.